A Cheerful Reciever

I must have strong puritan roots somewhere in my history. Maybe Quaker. I prefer to live simply and shy away from extravagance. Why buy a new shirt for $25 when you can buy a perfectly good used one at the thrift store for $3? I’m the kind of person who thinks Target is a fancy store.

It’s not that I’m cheap (although that is also true); I believe that the way a person spends their money speaks loudly to their priorities and values. Am I selfishly spending all my money on me and my own? Am I giving to others? Am I using my resources to help people in need? A quick peek into the old checkbook can tell you a lot about someone.

My husband and I had to shop for a car recently, to replace my totaled van. I tended to gravitate towards older, cheaper, no-frills models. Just give me a car that doesn’t break a lot, gets decent gas mileage and has enough seats for everybody. My husband, on the other hand, wanted a beautiful car, loaded with snazzy features. A frilly model, if you will.

“I’m OK with the [old, ugly] minivan,” I said, ever the righteous martyr. “Think of all the things we could do with the money we aren’t spending on a vehicle.”

“No,” he replied, looking at the fancy pants car with its heated seats and MP3 player. “This is what I want for you.”

I closed my fool mouth and signed the papers because somewhere in there I realized someone who loves me was trying to give me a gift.

What do you do when frugality collides with generosity, when blessing conflicts with blessed?

I think I do alright in the giving department. But for some reason, I get weird and squirrely when it’s time to receive. I believe in radical generosity – just not directed at me.

Our God is a loving and generous deity, a doting grandpa pouring out favor on his people. And I’m all, uhhhh really? This is too nice for me; here, let’s give this to someone else. Like I’m some kind of crazy blessing re-gifter. 

It’s something I struggle with: should Christians display the trappings of wealth? Are we better off with vows of poverty and horsehair shirts? You cannot serve both God and money but can you have both God and money?

I really don’t know the answer but it is an important question to wrestle with, especially now that we’re back in the land of Excess. It was easy to live simply in a country accustomed to lack. How do we cope with a culture that encourages overindulgence in every aspect of life?

I will say that I am glad we bought the fancy car. And not just because I can start the car from the living room ya’ll! Where it’s warm! And the car automatically turns on the seat warmers when remotely started. Toasty buns for meeeeeeeeeeee!

Ahem.

I am also really happy for my husband. As we drove away he said to me with bright shining eyes, “I never dreamed I’d own something like this.” For one second I could see the little boy that grew up with nothing. That boy suffered under the crushing hand of poverty for a long time. That boy almost didn’t go out with me because he said he came from a poor family and had nothing to give me. That boy grew to be the man I love best of everything. 

His joy is worth even more than heated seats.