Faith Like Thomas

As I’m filling out an insane amount of forms to get all three kids enrolled in their respective educational institutions, I came across this part of one of the financial aid applications: “how will you use your time, talent and resources for the betterment of our school community?”

Time?

Resources?

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha*cough*ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Oh man, I can’t stop laughing.

*ahem* Ok, I’m better now. *giggle*. Whoops, ok now.

Obviously, since I’m begging for financial aid, this isn’t the kind of question to answer truthfully. And while I’m thinking up some diplomatic-sounded formulated piece of bull$hit, here’s the real answer.

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I solemnly promise to volunteer for every single mandatory volunteer opportunity that I can’t weasel out of. And I will quickly glance at and even quicker discard all the emails soliciting donations for bake sales and student breakfasts and whatever the hell else it is that pintrest moms have the time to create in magical ways. I’m not one of those moms.

At least someone has the spirit
of volunteerism!

I promise to work my butt off and use my resources in the scrimp-iest, save-iest way possible. We will eat most of our meals at home and on the occasions that we go out, we will order the cheapest thing on the menu and no one will be allowed to get a soda. And my stomach will drop every time I see the dreaded words “lunch charges” or the kids growing out of their uniforms. Also, I will resent the living crap out of the fact that just turning in one of these financial aid applications cost me $30. Thanks, unnamed high school, thanks very much.

And as for talents, I’m not sure exactly how my encyclopedic knowledge of random trivia and ‘90s commercial jingles will better the school community but you’re welcome to it!

Really, what I’m contributing to the community is my kids. At least two of whom are real, live, walking around reminders that not everyone lives their life in a posh, comfy, upper middle class American way. I’m putting into your classrooms people with a different kind of faith – the faith of Thomas. He gets a bad rep for being a big old doubty pants, but when he couldn’t just hear and accept, Jesus honored that and showed up.  I’m not trying to say they are doubters, what I mean is that my kids don’t believe in God because they heard about him in church; they have experienced with their own bodies His miraculous provision. Here are the Least of These in the Greatest of Kids sitting in front of you with pencils at the ready.

So please give us scholarships so we don’t have to eat like we’re still in Nicaragua!

Oh and watch out for Troy, he is also a joy and treasure, but sometimes he bites. 

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