As I’m filling out an insane amount of forms to get all
three kids enrolled in their respective educational institutions, I came across
this part of one of the financial aid applications: “how will you use your
time, talent and resources for the betterment of our school community?”
Time?
Resources?
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha*cough*ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Oh man, I can’t stop laughing.
*ahem* Ok, I’m better now. *giggle*. Whoops, ok now.
Obviously, since I’m begging for financial aid, this isn’t
the kind of question to answer truthfully. And while I’m thinking up some
diplomatic-sounded formulated piece of bull$hit, here’s the real answer.
I solemnly promise to volunteer for every single mandatory
volunteer opportunity that I can’t weasel out of. And I will quickly glance at
and even quicker discard all the emails soliciting donations for bake sales and
student breakfasts and whatever the hell else it is that pintrest moms have the
time to create in magical ways. I’m not one of those moms.
 |
| At least someone has the spirit of volunteerism! |
I promise to work my butt off and use my resources in the
scrimp-iest, save-iest way possible. We will eat most of our meals at home and
on the occasions that we go out, we will order the cheapest thing on the menu
and no one will be allowed to get a soda. And my stomach will drop every time I
see the dreaded words “lunch charges” or the kids growing out of their
uniforms. Also, I will resent the living crap out of the fact that just turning
in one of these financial aid applications cost me $30. Thanks, unnamed high
school, thanks very much.
And as for talents, I’m not sure exactly how my encyclopedic
knowledge of random trivia and ‘90s commercial jingles will better the school
community but you’re welcome to it!
Really, what I’m contributing to the community is my kids. At least two of whom are real,
live, walking around reminders that not everyone lives their life in a posh,
comfy, upper middle class American way. I’m putting into your classrooms people
with a different kind of faith – the faith of Thomas. He gets a bad rep for
being a big old doubty pants, but when he couldn’t just hear and accept, Jesus
honored that and showed up. I’m not trying
to say they are doubters, what I mean is that my kids don’t believe in God
because they heard about him in church; they have experienced with their own
bodies His miraculous provision. Here are the Least of These in the Greatest of
Kids sitting in front of you with pencils at the ready.
So please give us scholarships so we don’t have to eat like
we’re still in Nicaragua!
Oh and watch out for Troy, he is also a joy and treasure,
but sometimes he bites.
***
