I Hope

Troy is growing up really fast.

Like really fast.

It’s kind of hard on mommy.

The weirdest thing isn’t that I no longer have a baby, the weird part is that suddenly there is this little boy living in my house. Who are you? Who will you be?

Like every parent, I have so many hopes and dreams for my little one. Obviously, he’s going to be the most awesomest, successful person ever. I can just tell.

I hope he’s funny.

I hope he can make the people around him feel happier and more comfortable because of his uncanny ability to crack just the right joke at the right moment. I hope that when he sees the world, with all its beauty and terror, tragedy and triumph, joy and injustice – he can appreciate how it is all just a little bit ridiculous. He’s got a great laugh; I hope he uses it well and often.

I hope he is kind.

You can teach children to be respectful and well mannered (for the most part). But there is something more, something innate, that makes you seek out ways to help, that pulls you towards the outcast. I will try to show him never to be scared of people for being different. I hope he has it in him to stand up for the picked on and be gentle with the helpless.

I hope he remembers where he comes from.

He is a child of two worlds. He will mostly live here in the States, in material wealth, but I hope he will stay connected to the cultural and relational wealth of his father’s homeland. I hope he never feels entitled to the latest and greatest gadgets but has some sense of appreciation for Daily Bread. I hope he will understand that American consumerism isn’t normal or healthy and will care more for people than for things.

I hope a thousand, thousand things for him. But at the same time, it’s so hard to imagine what he’ll actually turn out to be. I know he’ll be amazing. Just like how I couldn’t picture what he would look like while I was pregnant and he turned out to be the cutest baby ever to breathe air upon this planet (objectively speaking).

And from the little bits of his personality that are already poking through, I think I’m really going to like this new little boy in my life. Last night he slept with Eli and me. He woke up sometime in the middle of night apparently in great need of snuggles. He would sit himself up and then fling his whole self into giant hugs for mommy and daddy. And he gave us kisses. I’ve been teaching him to give kisses on command, but this was the first time he ever volunteered a smooch.

This mommy’s heart is so very happy.