Living with a whole bunch of kids can be challenging at
times. Being confronted with the unshakable belief that spinach will induce
vomiting (except when surrounded by a protective layer of Subway sandwich…) can
make you go slightly crazy. And of course, in my household there are the
occasional clashes of culture that transform me from a fairly normal person
into a shouting lunatic (“for the fifth time, FLUSH your goddam toilet paper!”)
Add a now mobile baby into that mix and…well…pray for me.
But I am not here to dwell upon the negative!
Nope, I am here to talk about why having a three pack of
kiddos is awesome. And by awesome, I mean a wonderful opportunity to work
through some of my neuroses.
I no longer have milk-related anxiety. I used to live in a
constant battle with milk. Is it still good? Has it gone slightly off but probably
won’t poison me? Should I go for the gallon and let it spoil silently in the
fridge or buy the quart and pay enormously more per teaspoon? The questions
haunted me. But no more my friends! No more! No matter how much milk I buy, it’s
gone by the end of the week. I no longer wonder how long ago I bought this jug –
the answer is always “last Saturday.”
My skinny pants no longer haunt me either. Have you ever
gone through your closet and had that inevitable pile of clothing that has
inexplicably shrunk in the dryer or something (*ahem*)? I hate getting rid of
them since I have every intention of fitting into my skinny clothes again. But
it’s kind of depressing to hold on to clothes that don’t fit. I know they’re
there, in the back of the closet, mocking my pudge. But no more! I have solved
this problem with secret option #3: hand them down. They are out of mocking
range yet still technically in the house and available if I randomly drop a
couple dress sizes and need to Indian-giver them back.
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| He fights crime when he's not busy eating garbage off the floor. |
Since I am no longer whelmed by my former stresses, I am
free to develop new quirks that help me be a better person. For instance, I am
a much more diligent housekeeper these days. I used to vacuum on a fairly regular
basis (once a year is still regular right?). Now I run the hoover ALL THE TIME
because every little speck on the carpet is either going into the belly of the
vacuum or the belly of the baby! When it’s old cheerios on the floor, I don’t
really care which belly that is, but when we’re talking fly carcasses, turns
out I have some pretty strong opinions. Speaking of which, is anyone else experiencing
an old testament-style plague of flies? I’m strongly considering coating my
house in cayenne pepper. (That will make for a good dinner invitation: Hey
guys! Come on over! Don’t touch your eyes!)
So there you go! Having kids is great.
On a side note, I asked my husband what he liked best about
having three kids. He said he loves spending time together as a family. And he
sincerely meant it.
Whatever, dude. You just stay over there being like a way
WAY nicer person than I am.
What random thing do YOU like best about having kids?
